Distorted View
by rednebdnim
Summary: Who ever said that Tony wasn't getting what Ziva had been hinting about? Maybe he had good reasons to ignore her, to block her out? Set during and after 'Designated Target' but with references all the way into season 3.
1. Perceptions collide

**Hello, welcome to my first FF.**

**Of course I don't own any of the original characters, stories, concepts etc. of NCIS or otherwise, they belong to their respective owners. However any characters and/or storylines that I created for this story are mine.**

**The story happens during and after episode 5x08, but refers to previous episodes all the way into season 3.**

**RELOADED**

**Rereading this story I found some things that needed fixing. So here now the new and improved 'Distorted View' ;)**

--

**Chapter 1: Perceptions Collide**

--

_Tony's POV_

„You'll never get it."

I froze. Had she really just said that? Now it was official. She had turned into a sixteen year old high school girl with an inexplicable crush. And she seemed to think that if she just kept hinting at it I would just step forward and say: „Please take me back.".

Take her back - „Pah!"

I realized that I had actually verbalized my own frustration with that exclamation. Still surprised that the sound, meant as a silent sigh of my own frustration, had actually left my lips. It still seemed to be echoing in the room as she spun around, managing to look very hurt and extremely pissed at the same time.

--

_Ziva's POV_

„Pah!"

That very instant I became aware that he knew exactly how I felt about him. He had known all along!

Only that his reaction wasn't anywhere close to what I had expected, hoped or even dreamed it to be. I had expected fear, concern or even retreat. I had hoped for understanding or even agreement. And I had dreamed about him just pulling me into his arms, telling me that he loved me, too.

I turned around, seeing both determination and confusion on his face and before I could stop myself I grabbed him and pushed him up against the vending machine he still stood in front of. Only when I heard him groan and saw the glass front of the vending machine break under the pressure his back was exerting on it I realized what was happening, what I was doing. I let him go.

I took a step back, sat down on a chair nearby and buried my face in my hands to hide the hurt expression that I could no longer hold back. I promised myself that I at least wouldn't cry.

Through my hands I asked „Why are you doing this to me?".

--

_Tony's POV_

My back hurt, during her little outburst I had suffered several small cuts on my back from the broken glass of the vending machine she had pushed me into. And now she actually asked me why I was doing this to her.

„Do you even have the slightest idea where we stand? Do you remember the past year and a half at all?"

„What do you mean? Are you angry that I had to see you happy with someone else to figure out that what we had was more than a fling to me?"

Now I was getting angry, how could two people see the same situation so totally differently? I had to get through to her, tell her how I felt and get her to see my side of things if I wanted to salvage what was left of our relationship. Only, did I really want to do that?

„Did you ever stop to think why I stopped seeing you when I did?", I asked her as mollifyingly as I could.

„The usual."

„The usual?", I had trouble not to sound as upset as I was.

„You know, I never saw you date anybody for more than a couple of weeks since I've met you, so I figured you had lost interest in me."

I had to put all my effort into keeping a neutral expression on my face, or at least not to contort it into a mask of the anger that washed through my head right now. The one person I had ever dated and actually really opened up to, let her see the real me that lay underneath the masks I wore to work or on dates, hadn't understood me at all. At least that explained some of her actions. But an explanation wasn't a justification.

„How dare you calling me that shallow? It was you who screwed up what we hat!", I was shouting at her now, not caring if anybody was listening in on us, „We had something good! And then you had to go ruin it by showing me in no uncertain terms that you neither trusted me enough to ask me for my support, nor that you cared enough about me to give me yours when I needed it! And then you act as though that never happened. You know what: I wish we'd never met."

I've had enough of this, I needed to get out. Pushing past her and the small group of spectators our exchange had attracted I made my way to my car in the parking lot. Driving off, neither caring to tell Gibbs I was leaving for the day, nor where I was going. All I knew was that right now I had to get as much distance between me and NCIS, no between me and her, as possible.

After driving aimlessly for about an hour I approached a deserted parking lot near a small park. I stopped the car, collapsed onto the steering wheel and, for the first time in my live, cried about a woman.


	2. I wish we'd never met

**Of course I don't own any of the original characters, stories, concepts etc. of NCIS or otherwise, they belong to their respective owners. However any characters and/or storylines that I created for this story are mine.**

**The story happens during and after episode 5x08, but refers to previous episodes all the way into season 3.**

**Please forgive me any inaccurate quotes, as I have to translate them back into English for all episodes of season 5.**

--

**Chapter 2: I wish we'd never met!**

--

_Ziva's POV_

„... I wish we'd never met!"

I winced as he spat these words at me, every word, every syllable, every single letter hurting me like the stab of a knife. He stormed out of the room, leaving me sitting there, all alone with my pain, still trying to compose myself, fighting to keep up the facade I had been taught to maintain all these years. A thought flashed in my mind: „Maybe I needed to deal with all these bottled up feelings, at least at some time?" But I quickly dismissed that line of thought as it contradicted everything I ever learned. Showing my real feelings made me weak and I was determined to be strong.

It took me at least 10 minutes before I felt I was ready to get up. But when I looked up the first thing I saw was the smashed vending machine. Seeing the sad reminder of my uncontrolled temper was bad enough, realizing that some of the glass shards had blood on them was unspeakably worse.

Yet again I had hurt the man I loved and even though I didn't come close to process what he had said about me neither trusting, nor supporting him, the realization that he obviously thought so hit me impossibly hard. I needed to be alone, to think, to find answers.

--

_Tony's POV_

After what seemed like an eternity I had no more tears to shed for her. But I had thought that before.

„... I wish we'd never met!"

Had I really said the same words Jeanne had howled at me after she found out I was a cop? Realizing that my being with her was just a means to an end? Or had at least started that way?

Stupid, DiNozzo, you're just stupid!

Suddenly I realized it was already dark outside. I needed to go to my apartment. I needed to eat, to sleep. But most of all I needed to fgure out where to go from here.


	3. All the wrong answers

**Of course I don't own any of the original characters, stories, concepts etc. of NCIS or otherwise, they belong to their respective owners. However any characters and/or storylines that I created for this story are mine.**

**The story happens during and after episode 5x08, but refers to previous episodes all the way into season 3.**

**Please forgive me any inaccurate quotes, as I have to translate them back into English for all episodes of season 5.**

--

**Chapter 3: All the wrong answers**

--

_Ziva's POV_

When I got back to the bullpen it lay deserted.

I sat down at my desk, although it felt even less like mine than during my very first few days at NCIS. When everybody still thought of that desk as being Kate's. But considering the recently discovered fissures in my perception of my surroundings, some of them seeming to be more like actual cracks, the longer I thought about it, the more it seemed that everybody else probably still thought of the desk as Kate's.

"Stop wallowing in self pity, David!", I reprimanded myself.

Where did everybody go, anyway? Had they just left?

But then Special Agent Lee came around the corner, on her way to drop off some paperwork on Gibbs' desk. She had briefly been a member of our team when Gibbs had retired and Tony had been the team leader. Gibbs had seen to have her transfered off the team as soon as he came back.

She looked unsure if she should dare to talk to me. Finally she mustered up the courage to speak:

„Officer David! Special Agent Gibbs and Special Agent McGee were called out to assist another team at a big crime scene, they asked me to tell you that they wouldn't be back before tomorrow."

„So they just decided to leave me here?"

„I think they wanted to give you some room ..."

I wasn't really listening to her anymore, not that I ever really had before, but thinking about Gibbs' getting rid of her after coming back, had diverted my train of thought into a direction I didn't really like.

What else had happened when Gibbs came back?

McGee had moved back to his old desk. He actually seemed happy about it. Not that he wasn't a good senior field agent, but he always seemed to enjoy himself way more when he could retrieve some information from his computer, albeit by accessing some federal database, cracking into a suspects computer, tracking a cell phone or even hacking into the CIA. That's what McGee lived for, he seemed to be relieved to be able to get back into his element. The joint forensic high tech babble sessions with Abby, whom he obviously adored, also didn't seem to hurt.

Tony had moved back to his old desk, once again being the senior field agent. I thought he had seemed relieved that things were back to normal. But was he really?

I seemed to be the only one on the team for whom Gibbs' return didn't have any immediate effect. At least not professionally. Instead my weekends changed.

Tony had been coming over every weekend since Gibbs had been blown up an few month ago. What began as two good friends and coworkers helping each other to cope with their changed reality soon became more. But then, seven weeks after we had made the transition from friends to lovers and one week after I had to go into hiding for a few days because of that unfortunate Iranian incident, suddenly I found myself spending Friday evenings all on my own again.

During the week I had felt that Tony acted differently towards me, but I hat attributed that to the fact that he had to move back to his old desk on Monday. After all, this wasn't a real demotion, was it? Things were just back to the way they were supposed to be. As they had been. Everybody was supposed to be happy.

I tried calling him once on Friday evening when he didn't show up at my apartment at the usual time but I didn't reach him. I decided to leave him alone for the evening. I was sure he was just sulking because of something meaningless that had happened during the week which I hadn't even realized.

When I called him the next day, he answered his phone in a tone so cold, I was shocked.

"What do you want, David?"

At the time I couldn't think of a better reply than:

"You know what, DiNozzo, you can call me when you are ready to tell me what the hell YOUR problem is!

I hung up, trembling in anger.

He hadn't called me outside of work since. He even avoided work related calls and had McGee or Abby call me in his stead whenever possible.

Soon afterwards his new mystery girlfriend came into the picture and I thought I had my answer. Dumped by DiNozzo! How could I have been stupid enough to fool myself into thinking he would be interested in more?

Shaking my head at my own stupidity, I suddenly realized that I had been sitting at my desk like in a trance for quite a while. When I looked up I realized that Agent Lee had disappeared. I probably had ignored her while I was off to dreamworld.

Maybe Jenny could help me to understand what had happened during that time?


	4. The Knifes in my Back

**Of course I don't own any of the original characters, stories, concepts etc. of NCIS or otherwise, they belong to their respective owners. However any characters and/or storylines that I created for this story are mine.**

**The story happens during and after episode 5x08, but refers to previous episodes all the way into season 3.**

**Please forgive me any inaccurate quotes, as I have to translate them back into English for all episodes of season 5.**

--

**Chapter 4: The Knifes in my Back**

--

_Tony's POV_

When I buckled my seatbelt, getting ready to drive home, I felt my shirt sticking to my back and the car seat in several places. I remembered the awful reminder of Ziva pushing me into the vending machine. How could I have blocked that out? I was obviously still bleeding. As I couldn't very well attend to the injuries on my back myself I decided to go to a hospital before going home.

I unconsciously chuckled, realizing that I wasn't even mad at her for that. Although I didn't think I was out of line with my unintended comment, I still knew how much panic it probably had caused her to realize that I could see through her mask at so many times. After all, she was trained to keep her emotions locked up, through her training she knew that people who could pierce that armor were dangerous to her. Would that ever change?

That obviously dangerous "assassin" side of her never bothered or even scared me that much. Although I couldn't completely rule out that she might actually hurt me a little bit when she lost her temper for a split second, I somehow just knew that she'd never really hurt me on purpose, even though the wounds in my back currently begged to differ.

When I reached the hospital I was relieved to find the emergency room virtually empty. After signing what seemed to be an awful lot of paperwork I was lead into a treatment room immediately. Walking in there I was hoping that while filling out all that paperwork I hadn't accidentally bought a new washing machine or even a new car that might have been mentioned somewhere on those endless forms.

After taking off my shirt the doctor took a look at my injuries. He gave me some local anesthetic and got a young nurse to clean out the cuts. He told me he would be back in a few minutes and left.

Although I only had been given a mild local anesthetic, the combination of my exhaustion and the semi-comfortable lying position on the treatment table got the best of me and I felt myself drifting into a daze. It didn't take my mind long to wander back to the events of today:

... I was sure she wouldn't hurt me physically ... but there were other ways to hurt a person than physical pain. And she certainly had an unfortunate talent to poke at my weak spots when it came to inflicting emotional pain.

How did she think I would feel when she skipped over me, her boyfriend, and directly went to Gibbs for help instead? I hadn't even expected her to come right out and say "Tony, I need your help", I knew that was something she just didn't know how to do. But why couldn't she at least find a way to let me know she was OK? I would have been OK just knowing that much. I would have been great knowing that she was getting help from somewhere, no matter who that might have been. And I would have given everything to have been allowed to be there for her.

Instead what I got when I finally reached her, trying to get her to meet me in order to get her out of that mess, was a smug comment: "Gibbs. Why didn't you say so."

I was stunned. I realized Gibbs was talking to me on the cell in my hand but I wasn't able to pick up much of our conversation. In my internal Battle between the pissed Team Supervisor, she went over my head after all, and the crestfallen boyfriend, the later clearly won.

It only got worse when I met her and Gibbs in his basement. As Gibbs was there I hadn't exactly expected her to fall into my arms when I got there but I had hoped for some sort of acknowledgement that she was happy to see me. What I got was them mocking my leadership skills and Gibbs calling me McGee.

So thats what it had come to, I was OK as a discreet shoulder to cry on and the guy to scratch the occasional itch. But when it came to the important stuff she'd rather trust a still recovering and memory impaired Gibbs than me.

And she obviously thought that was totally normal.

Well, I sure didn't.


	5. Adapting Perception and Reality

**Of course I don't own any of the original characters, stories, concepts etc. of NCIS or otherwise, they belong to their respective owners. However any characters and/or storylines that I created for this story are mine.**

**The story happens during and after episode 5x08, but refers to previous episodes all the way into season 3.**

**Please forgive me any inaccurate quotes, as I have to translate them back into English for all episodes of season 5.**

--

**Chapter 5: Adapting Perception and Reality**

--

_Ziva's POV_

When I reached Jenny's office I found her secretaries desk empty. Assuming that Jenny also had gone for the day I was about to turn when her office door opened. When she spotted me she called out my name.

"Ziva!"

It was good to be called by my first name, being introduced as "Officer" instead of "Special Agent" when talking to victims, witnesses or even suspects, sometimes was a painful reminder that I wasn't one of them. Nobody meant anything by it, but still it reminded me that my assignment to NCIS was temporary. And with each passing day I resented that fact a little bit more.

"Jenny, I was gonna ask if you had a couple of minutes to talk. But it can wait until tomorrow. You were leaving.", I said, preparing to return to my desk.

"No, Ziva come in, I was actually hoping you would come to see me. I heard what happened this afternoon with Tony. I would have come to you sooner, but I didn't want to pressure you into anything."

I looked at her, she had expected me to come to her? Had I become that predictable?

"Please sit down", she offered me a place on her couch and something to drink.

"No, thanks", I said sitting down but declining her other offer.

I didn't know where to begin. I was glad when Jenny finally started to speak, but my relief didn't last long.

"Well, I'm sorry it had to come to this, but after what happened this afternoon I think I have no choice but to assign you to another team, probably outside of D.C.."

"But why?", I gasped, "Things will work out, if Tony just realizes ..."

"Tony?", Jenny cut me off, "You think Tony is the problem here?", she seemed angry, "I'm sorry Ziva, you are a good friend, but you've created this problem for yourself. I have never seen anybody taking as much crap from a person as Tony did from you. And he is still trying to maintain a good professional relationship with you. ..."

"It's not like I was the one who dumped him!", I cut her off, defending myself.

"Well, I didn't even know that part. When were you together?", she asked, barely hiding her surprise.

"After Gibbs left Tony really supported me a lot, he started coming over to my apartment on the weekends and then some night we became more than friends.", I said, noticing that just talking about him already weakened my defenses.

"And you broke up when ..."

"He just stopped coming around, I last saw him the week before I had Gibbs come back to help me with my former teammate turned rogue."

"Oh, Ziva.", Jenny was shaking her head, "I really don't know what to say, although the point in time certainly is no surprise."

We sat across from each other silently just for a few moments which seemed to stretch to an eternity.

"But I still love him!", I exclaimed desperately, "Do you think there is any way I can make him see that?"

"Well, he definitely knows that. Also I can tell you that I think he loves you very much."

"So why did he shoot me down this afternoon? I think he hates me!"

"Ziva, you have been pushing him away ever since Gibbs left. I used to think it was because of something he did as your team leader, but now that I know you were a couple it makes even more sense to me."

"I haven't been pushing him away!", I exclaimed in protest.

"No?"

"No, never!"

"Well, Ziva, there is no easy way to tell you this, but I feel I have no choice to tell you this as blunt and direct as possible. Just think about it, OK?"

She gave me a moment to prepare myself for what was coming.

"When Gibbs left, the two of you got together, right?"

"Yes"

"Then, when you got into trouble because of the rogue Mossad agent working for the Iranians, you went over Tony's head and directly to Gibbs instead. Also you had Abby withhold information from him about talking to you and your contacting Gibbs?"

"Yes", I agreed reluctantly.

"And then after you were cleared and Gibbs came back as Team Leader a week later, what did you do?"

"I don't understand? That just meant that things got back to the way they were supposed to be!"

She gave me a puzzled look.

"Do you really mean that? So you think Tony deserved being demoted without warning after 6 month of 16 hour days and hardly any weekends off?"

"When you put it that way ..."

"Tell me another way to put it!", Jenny cut me off, "I bet he didn't even tell anybody that I offered him his own team in Spain, which he declined by the way, because he was still concerned about Jethros memory lapses!"

"You offered him his own team? Why?", I still had a hard time processing all the information I just had received.

"I know hardly any of you realized it, but Tony did a great job when he took over your team. He had to train a new agent, get himself used to the additional responsibilities of being the team leader, manage his undercover assignment for me and also divert that huge load of crap some of his team members, including you, were steering his way.", Jenny finished, obviously relieved that it had gotten out.

When the information finally had sunk in I suddenly understood how our behavior must have looked from Tony's point of view. How much many of the snide remarks and instances where I just went against his orders and did whatever I thought best must have hurt him, especially as he knew I would have never dared to do that to Gibbs. I was astonished how long he had actually taken this and still allowed me to use him as my rock. And then I had broken the camels back by recalling Gibbs behind his back.

No wonder he would no longer allow me to come close to him.

I had always admired his unbiased behavior toward me, after all even now half the people at the office seemed to expect me to snap their necks if they dared to come into my way. But Tony had never been that way with me. And now he obviously thought he had to shut me out in order to save himself from getting hurt any more!

"No wonder he hates me, of course thats what he meant when he said I wouldn't trust or support him!", I said realizing his view of things, "I think he even tried to tell me about it, but I didn't even listen."

I started crying. This was unfixable. I didn't even care about crying in front of Jenny anymore, I just needed to let go. She sat down next to me, holding me. It took me a long time to compose myself back to a point where I was able to speak.

"I think it's probably best if I transfer back to Tel Aviv, Jenny"

She looked at me dumbstruck. After a while she started slowly shaking her head.

"For being one of the smartest people I know you certainly have a knack for doing stupid things."

"But what else could I do? I wouldn't listen to me if I was him! Damn, a year ago I probably would have killed anyone who did something like that to me!"

"That's the thing, you have changed since you were assigned to NCIS. And I think it was a change for the better. I think he is just hoping for you to understand how he feels and to admit that you have realized that it was a mistake to shut him out when he wanted to help you. If you can see that and find a way to tell him that you are sorry I think you will be fine in the long run."

"I have to find him! Is it OK if I ask Abby to track his cell?"

Jenny smiled at me, "Already took care of that, he is at Bethesda Naval Hospital."

"Oh god", I exclaimed, realizing that I probably was the reason for that.

"Don't worry, it wasn't that bad. If the cuts hadn't been on his back he would have been fine putting a band aid on them himself.

"I have to go see him", I said running out of her office.


	6. A little bit Conversation

**Of course I don't own any of the original characters, stories, concepts etc. of NCIS or otherwise, they belong to their respective owners. However any characters and/or storylines that I created for this story are mine.**

**The story happens during and after episode 5x08, but refers to previous episodes all the way into season 3.**

**Please forgive me any inaccurate quotes, as I have to translate them back into English for all episodes of season 5.**

--

**Chapter 6: A little bit Conversation**

--

_Tony's POV_

Leaving the hospital, after having the cuts on my back stitched up, I looked like an idiot, yet again. Although this time that really wasn't anybodies fault. When the nurse had taken off my already damaged shirt, she had had to cut around a few areas where it had stuck to the wounds. It wasn't much, but it was enough for my shirt to make the transition from being pretty messed up to being completely useless. Therefore I was now standing in the hospital parking lot, wearing my blood stained jeans and a pink scrub top I had borrowed from one of the nurses.

As I walked across the parking lot, hoping not to be seen wearing my new outfit by anybody I knew, I suddenly heard a car accelerating onto the lot behind me, quickly followed by squealing tires. The car came to a stop almost immediately behind me.

I turned around to verify if the crazy person driving that car was my usual suspect for insane driving.

--

_Ziva's POV_

Damn it! As if talking and apologizing to Tony wouldn't have been hard enough as it was, but there he was standing in slightly bloodstained jeans (which weren't funny at all) and a pink scrub top at least two sizes too small for him (which made it hard not to fall out of the car laughing!). I couldn't help but to wonder if he had taken that top right off a nurse or if he had been decent enough to just take a spare scrub from her locker.

Anyway, I tried to dismiss that line of thought and get to the reason I had come here for. Tony was still standing where he was when my Mini skidded to its halt a few seconds ago. He looked at me.

I got out of the car and took a deep breath.

"Tony, can we talk?"

--

_Tony's POV_

I was still a little relieved from not being run over, as I had expected to be for a couple of seconds. I looked at her getting out of the car.

"Tony, can we talk?"

She looked different, like something had changed since this afternoon.

"Sure, just please give me a chance to get out of this", I said, moving my hands around, pointing at the pink scrub I was wearing.

I had a distinct feeling that this next conversation with Ziva was gonna make or break our relationship. No matter how it turned out, I wasn't going to have it looking like ... like ... yeah, well ... like this.

"Alright", she said, "How about you drive to your apartment and change while I take a detour to pick up some food and meet you there?"

"Sounds like a plan.", I couldn't help but to flash a little smile.

--

_Ziva's POV_

I was relieved when Tony agreed to talk over dinner at his place. I suddenly realized that in all the time I knew him I had never been there. Did he just smile?

I watched him walking the short distance to his car and then getting in it sort of slowly. He must still be in pain.

Just as he drove off I realized I hadn't even asked him what he'd like for dinner. But then, could I go wrong picking up a Pizza for DiNozzo? Probably not. I got into my car and speeded off to his favorite pizza place.

On the way I had some more time to think about what I was gonna say. I decided to try and keep my apology as short as possible, giving myself less opportunities to trip over myself while doing so. Apologies were uncharted waters for me anyway.

--

_Tony's POV_

I had just finished changing into a fresh set of clothes when there was a knock at the door. When I opened it Ziva was standing in the corridor, holding a Pizza. A quick glance at the pizza box it came in revealed that she had gotten it from my favorite pizza place 'Alberto's'.

I stepped aside a little, motioning her to come in.

--

_Ziva's POV_

So, this was Tony's place. It was nothing like the bachelor pad I always had imagined him living in. I stood in a huge living room with shelves and shelves full of DVDs, that much I had expected. But there were also quite a few books, a lot of small decorative items and some very intriguing art prints.

The prints were all from 'Bauhaus' or similar artists, I thought I had seen two Kandinsky's, a Macke and a Klee, all expressionist artists. I shook my head, DiNozzo was fully of surprises.

Suddenly I realized that Tony was waiting for me to hand him my coat and probably even more the pizza. Quickly I handed him the pizza, shrugged out of my coat and followed him to the dining area of the living room.

He had prepared a bottle of red wine which actually fitted the meal I brought perfectly. For a few minutes we ate in silence. Then I decided it was time we talked.

"Tony, ..."

He looked up, staring me right into the face, his eyes locking with mine. I thought a saw longing in them, or was it hope? Hope that I would be able to understand him and would be able to find the right words to close the wounds I had inflicted on his soul.

"... first know that I love you and always will.", I was three seconds into my carefully thought out apology and already close to tearing up.

"... I'm sorry it took a pep talk of a good friend for me to see that many things I thought I did in order to protect you were in fact hurting you. I never wanted that to happen."

I realized I had broken eye contact with him. When I looked up I could see that he seemed to be just as close to tears as I was.

"... And I'm sorry we wasted almost 18 month being mad at each other when all I really wanted was to be with you."

During my last sentence he had gotten up and closed the short distance between us. He pulled me into his warm embrace and I spoke the last words into his chest. I took a few breaths, enjoying being this close to him again, taking in his once familiar and welcome scent.

He moved back slightly and put his finger under my chin, softly motioning me to look up into his face. When I did he smiled at me.

"You know, I love you too"

I smiled back at him, and pressed my face back into his chest. I felt him placing a gentle kiss on my forehead, taking the opportunity to take in the scent of my hair.

We made a silent agreement, we were never going to let each other go again.


	7. What a beautiful Morning

**Of course I don't own any of the original characters, stories, concepts etc. of NCIS or otherwise, they belong to their respective owners. However any characters and/or storylines that I created for this story are mine.**

**The story happens during and after episode 5x08, but refers to previous episodes all the way into season 3.**

--

**Chapter 7: What a beautiful Morning**

--

Ziva's POV

I woke up startled, finding myself lying alone on a large sofa in an unfamiliar room. Strangely I still felt at home. Beside me laid a second blanket, now deserted, but obviously I wasn't the only one who had slept on that sofa last night. How could anybody have gotten up from beside me without me even waking up? Normally when I felt movement beside my sleeping body I would have jumped to full attack mode withing fractions of a second and the unlucky individual would have suffered the consequences. But not today.

Then I started to remember bits and pieces of the previous night. I had made up with Tony! Put an an end to the most confusing and frustration time of my life. And this was certainly saying something considering all the things that had happened in my past.

Did we have sex last night? I quickly glanced under the blanket. No, I was fully clothed. Actually I was dressed in the now sweaty and uncomfortable clothes I had gone to work in yesterday.

I needed a shower.

I needed fresh clothes.

I needed to find Tony.

Tony!

I heard the sound of plates clacking and silverware clinking from somewhere, probably the kitchen. I decided that I would start my search there.

-

_Tony's POV_

I was setting the table for breakfast, while preparing some pancakes on the stove at the same time. I normally would not put that much effort into breakfast on a weekday, but I needed to busy myself, to engage in some physical activity whilst my thoughts were racing through my head at sonic speed.

Then I heard a noise from the kitchen entrance. Ziva had gotten up and now leaned on the frame of my kitchen door. Damn, even though she literally just had 'rolled out of bed' she looked absolutely amazing. Her hair looked a little disheveled, but that only gave her look a slightly temerarious touch I liked so much about her.

I walked over to her and kissed her on the top of her head, using the opportunity to take in that incredible scent that emanated from her hair.

"Good morning, Ziva.", I said smiling down at her.

And then she actually pulled me into a hug! Ziva David was hugging people! Well, at least she was hugging me! I knew she had learned to deal with other people hugging her, but her initiating something like this had to be a first!

My smile got even wider, remembering how much she had changed since her arrival. Once the 'hug-machine' Abby had told me about her hugging Ziva the first time, just a short while after she had been assigned to NCIS. Abby had actually compared hugging Ziva to hugging a telephone pole. With her being a forensic scientist I wondered if she had done a field test in order to ensure that this comparison was accurate? Actually, I was sure of it.

--

_Ziva's POV_

When I came to the kitchen I paused in the door for a few seconds, watching Tony go about his breakfast preparations. He seemed distracted, lost in thought. Right now his head was probably flooded with just as many unorganized thoughts as mine was since I woke up. I didn't want to disturb him, instead I wanted to give him time.

Suddenly he looked up from what he was doing. He had spotted me, walked up to me and gave me a kiss on the hair.

He smiled at me and said, "Good morning, Ziva."

I put my arms around him, smiled back at him and said, "A really good morning, Tony, yes?", seeing his smile widening even more, "You mind if I take a shower?"

He nodded and showed me the way to his bathroom. Before I could close the door he told me that we had to be at the office in about 40 Minutes and suggested to just take a quick shower, so there would be enough time left to have a little breakfast and also to drop by my apartment so I could change before going into work.

After Tony had left I quickly shrugged out of my clothes and got into the shower. I couldn't wait to feel the cool water pour down on me, finally snatching my body from the still lingering sleep. So, thats how it felt not jumping to full alert mode when waking up.

I stood under the shower for maybe 1 minute when realization hit me. Could somebody really wake up one morning and realize they weren't the same person that had gone to sleep the evening before? Because it certainly felt like that today.

That instant I decided that I needed to tell Tony the truth about some things I had kept from him, from almost everyone at NCIS. But how? Just asking him, what he wanted to know, would go against my training as a Mossad officer. But it would also go against the whole 'male/female thing', wouldn't it? But then I shook my head, remembering how extremely well all these rules had served me in the past when I followed them in regard to Tony.

Maybe this was the right time to bend, or even break, a few rules?

--

_Tony's POV_

I couldn't believe my own eyes when Ziva reemerged from the bathroom just ten minutes after she went in there. Apart from her still wearing the same clothes as the day before, she looked as beautiful as always.

I had already finished my breakfast and was nursing my second cup of coffee, as I had expected her to take some time in the bathroom. I gave her a few options for breakfast, but she declined all of them, saying she only wanted some coffee.

"Coming right up."

I poured her a cup of hot, steaming coffee.

She seemed to look for a way to tell me something important. Before I could say anything she basically just blurted it out.

"I don't really know how or where to start telling you some of the things I have been holding back. But I want to tell you. I really do. And also I don't know how to deal with my not being able to tell you some of the things I learned during my Mossad assignments."

I was flustered, had she really shifted from 'super secretive spy behavior' to total openness?

"I have been thinking the same thing. And as far as it goes for any Information related to Mossad, there is only one thing I would want to know."

Now she looked as flustered as I felt.

"But I also think that we should take things slowly, not just relationship wise, but especially in dealing with all that extra baggage we both carry around with us, don't you think?"

Had I really just said the 'R'-word? Without choking on it? We really were in uncharted waters her.

She grinned at me, she also had understood what I said.

--

_Ziva's POV_

I couldn't help to grin, realizing what he had just said. I was a little relieved to know that both of us were exploring new territory here. Yes, I even enjoyed it.

--

_Tony's POV_

I crossed the distance between us and leaned in to kiss her again. Only this time it wasn't just an affectionate kiss like earlier this morning. No, I could feel the same passion rushing back that we had when we started our affair about a year and a half ago.

After a few seconds, which seemed to stretch into an eternity, I pulled away, grinning, "We better get going, I'd really hate for us to make up and then Gibbs killing us for being late within the same 24 hours."

Ziva grinned, "Let's go!"


End file.
